On the South and the Rest

Monday makes a week since I’ve been back to Mississippi from Colorado.  I’d been to Colorado before, in the winter, but the summer actually made much more of an impression on me.  First of all - no one there is fat!  But I have to stand up for our Southern selves.  Have you been outside lately?  Holyyyyyyyyy it’s HOT.  You wake up in the Southern summer, you walk outside, and you’re like “that was a terrible idea.”  Then you walk back inside, where you justifiably eat a whole tub of ice cream.  Or to your car, where you immediately turn on the AC.  Life is different in the dry rest of the country.  These were my thoughts when I stepped outside first thing in the morning in Colorado: “Wow, what a beautiful day!  Little nippy out here.  Look at the mountains!  What can I do outside today!  I need to be outside!”  Unless you live on the beach in Florida, or… just kidding nowhere else, it’s hard to go outside.  Gyms are kind of depressing and gross.  The leftover sweat beads all over that plastic excuse for a cloth covering they have on the equipment.  When I want to exercise, I want to be outside.  And in the summer, I don’t want to be outside.  So, give us a break, rest of the world.  

So now what.